The Space(s) in between

As Master Yoda is famous for saying:

“fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering”

Wise was he. But let me refine that infinite wisdom into something we all struggle for today:

“Space leads to focus…focus leads to creativity…creativity leads to happiness”

Intro

Our modern lives are filled with stuff. Here I thought technology is supposed to raise the quality of life yet I feel like I’m drowning in deluge of various things demanding my attention: news and social media feeds, e-bills, app alerts, annoying advertisements, door-to-door solicitors, you name it. When was the last time you stepped back from the bombardment of seemingly irrelevant minutia? Do you feel like you might be missing out on something if your phone isn’t in hand? Do you feel like the boundaries between work and your personal life is now completely blurred? Are you continuously running from one thing to another without taking time to breathe? Are you eating lunch at your desk? Are you working while in bed? Something tells me you aren’t the only one, but the fact you’re reading this means you’re already ahead of the class and at the very least now self-aware of the problem. The amount of crap that is thrown at us daily is a major distraction and distractions result in less time to focus on meaningful work, meaningful relationships, and straight up enjoying our lives.

Numerous studies suggest we spend 3 to 4 hours per day on our phone. If we put that into context, that is 1,095 hours per year, equivalent to 45 days or 1.5 months per year. At this rate, if you’re 30 years old you’ll have spent a TOTAL OF 5 years on your phone by the time you die at 78! Even worse, if you’re ~20 years old now and you hold that pace you’ll have spent 9 years of your life on your phone. What a f*cking waste.

Technology is both the disease and the cure. It becomes the disease if you don’t address it, but it can be the cure if you know how to manage it. So how do you manage it? Space.

Space is so key to creating more time to focus on what’s important to you, and more importantly, having a more fulfilled life.

Here are five main areas where I see space is badly needed:

• Space from our phones and email
• Space from people
• Space from home
• Space from our work
• Space in between parts of the day

Space from phones and email

This one is so obvious, yet so difficult to implement given high demands on our lives. I used to be obsessed with responding to emails. Admittedly I used to work in a job where quick replies was critical for business. Although I have moved on from that role, I was strict about email checking times. I would only spend an hour per day reading and responding to emails. In my experience, the two best 30 min slots for this are (1) Right at the beginning of the work day and (2) Right after lunch. The first is obvious because stuff just needs to get going and sometimes people need your input ASAP to proceed and you don’t want to be the bottleneck. The second is more strategic. I do it AFTER lunch because that’s the time proceeding peak productivity and my body is using its energy to digest lunch so the mind naturally just has a little less horsepower. I set my phone on Do Not Disturb mode. If it is truly an urgent call they will call twice within in a short amount of time and the second ring will be heard. Like emails, I reserve phone calls for right after lunch only.

Space from people

Relationships are good for people don’t get me wrong, and almost every human has some minimal need for that connection. But for those of us who are more introverted or simply love getting lost in our work, space from people is absolutely needed. I call this focus time. If you’re like me and work in a traditional “office” environment, I set chunks of time in my outlook calendar for focused work so no one bothers me. I also limit my interaction with people outside work — namely friends and family. Going out is a thing of the past. I rarely go out to socialize. If I do, it might be twice a month at most OR I make it a physical activity where I’m also benefitting from exercise. You will find all sorts of people vying for time with you, but the most valuable item we all have is time and the most important decisions we’ll make is how we wish to spend that time and with whom. If you feel overwhelmed with social obligations and it’s hindering your ability to create awesome work, cut back where needed to provide for more of that focused time.

Space from home

If you’re like me and WFH quite a bit, it can be overly repetitive being at home all the time. Give yourself a mini-vacation, stay-cation, whatever and get out of the house for awhile. They say variety is the spice of life and that couldn’t be more true than in this WFH situation many of us have been in for the past year. Get out of your normal environment to someplace new. Designate your invaluable off time to go explore. Check out a new trail, a new beach, a new city, etc. The key is to just get out of your environment and stimulate your senses with a new environment. Oh, and if it wasn’t already obvious, don’t look at your phone, email or computer for the entire time.

Space from work

This one is easy. Work is not our identity and for most of us work is a means to end. Sure many of us also find purpose through work and can easily get lost when “In the zone” so to speak, but humans need balance. You can’t enjoy your work without some space and with some space you find more enjoyment in work. It’s a balance of ying-yang so our job is to ensure that balance. Weekends and off-time are sacred so don’t corrupt it with work.

Space in between parts of the day

With such busy lives it’s difficult to find space between our working and non-working hours. Many of us, for example, eat while working or don’t even take time to “decompress” after work before coming back home or to our families. We often overlook this small, but important buffer zone. I’ve found when I don’t take time to decompress I accidentally “bring work home with me”. Not in the literal sense but in the sense I am carrying all my lingering thoughts, worries, and problems at work back home to family life. If you commute to work, then you’ve already got a natural buffer. Use it wisely. Relax, listen to music, ocean waves, a comedy show, something completely unrelated.

If you’re like me and WFH, there are two ways I’ve found to utilize this buffer space - meditate for 15 min or exercise. At the beginning of the day before work starts or at the end of the day before my kids and wife come home, I will meditate for a good 15 min or I will go put in a solid workout. I really hate gyms so I stay away as much as possible. I love tennis and am super competitive. From April through September I sign up for tournaments and make it a point to train multiple times a week for tournaments. This highly intense physical activity not only helps keep my body and mind healthy, but it also serves as a major outlet for all the BS of adult life that builds up and accumulates during the day. I find the mind empties itself completely when engaged in prolonged, strenuous activity. This “space” it creates is hugely beneficial. The point here is if you like enjoy physical activity, go do it, but don’t half ass it. If you’re scheduled to be on the court for an hour, make it the most tiring hour you’ve ever had. It’s counter-intuitive, but the harder you physically work, the better you’ll sleep and the sharper your mind is.

and finally…

Space is all around us. It is hidden in plain sight but we’ve lost the ability to see it. I hope this has helped you find the space you’ve been looking for. If so, tweet me at @Protagonist_888 and tell me all about it! May the Force be with you.